I haven't blogged in months and this is why. It’s because I have very exciting news – I’m pregnant with my second child, a beautiful baby boy due in March!
The only problem is my hyperemesis gravidarum is back in full swing. I secretly hoped I wouldn't get it with my second pregnancy, but it's worse than ever.
Hyperemesis gravidarum stopped me from working + blogging
I had to take a big break from my blog as I sadly suffer from hyperemesis gravidarum.
This is extreme pregnancy sickness, not the standard morning sickness most people seem to think the condition refers to.
I was sick several times per hour from around week seven, regardless of whether I ate or drank.
This condition is so severe it means the usual remedies for morning sickness do not work, such as travel bands, ginger, peppermint, etc.
You name it and I bet you I tried it all in my first pregnancy when I suffered the same!
What hyperemesis gravidarum is really like
Imagine how rotten you feel after food poisoning for a couple of days.
Then imagine that going on for weeks.
Day in day out.
Retching up every last bit inside you. Even when there's nothing left.
This time round it was far worse.
Not only do I have this to content with, but I also got hyper salivation which is as disgusting as it sounds. My mouth fills with excess saliva constantly and it's like there's a ball in my throat so I can't swallow it so I have to spit it out. It's disgusting and making me feel vile. I literally have to have a cup or pot by me! It's gross.
Throw in some pregnancy anaemia and I'm starting to wonder if my body is actually just allergic to pregnancy!
Anyway, I became so sick this time round with the hyperemesis gravidarum that I could barely stand up without almost blacking out. This was before the pregnancy anaemia hit and was just because I'd been throwing up non stop for weeks and had nothing left inside me.
No one gets it.
I had a friend telling me to try ginger biscuits.
Another friend text when at a nearby park to see if I wanted to take Bella for a playdate.
I COULDN'T EVEN MAKE IT FROM MY LIVING ROOM TO MY KITCHEN WITHOUT NEARLY PASSING OUT AND THROWING UP.
Only Ben my husband saw the extent of the sickness and got it. Or tried to get it as he had no idea how it made me feel.
It made me feel awful, yes physically, but also mentally and emotionally.
I couldn't do anything as normal. I couldn't even walk around my house as normal. A few days of this and you feel rotten and weak, but a few weeks and it really starts to get to you. I'm not sure I've ever felt so low, lonely and depressed. I hit a really low point.
I felt like death and just wanted it to end. Of course I wanted my baby more than anything really. We had planned for another baby and so I was happy when we found out, but feeling so rotten and like I was dying made me wish I wasn't pregnant at one point. I knew that wasn't true though and kept telling myself that. I wanted another baby. It's just the sickness making me feel this way. I just need the sickness to end.
'This too shall pass'.
One of my favourite sayings, but hard to believe it when all you can do is lie on a sofa watching the minutes tick by, throwing up, retching and feeling sick constantly until you're just a shell.
In the first four weeks of the hyperemesis gravidarum kicking in, I went from over 9 stone to just 8 stone and became terribly weak. At 5'7 I looked skeletal on my frame.
I finally gave in and went to the doctors who immediately admitted me to hospital, popping me on a fast flowing drip!
Wow. Drips are amazing! I felt better within one hour!
I was kept in for 24 hours and filled with the drip goodness, after which I felt like a different person. The women beside me in hospital could not believe the difference.
My nightmare was sort of over.
Why didn't I go to the doctor's sooner with hyperemesis gravidarum?
You may wonder why I waited so long to go to the doctors.
During my first pregnancy I was non stop back and forth to the doctors who constantly sent me home with another set of tablets that did not work. I was never dehydrated enough to go to hospital so had to just suffer the sickness. I feared this would just happen again this time so didn’t want to waste my time or very little energy!
However, by the time I could barely stand up without passing out, I knew things were much worse this time. I had dangerous levels of ketones this time and so I was kept in hospital until these had disappeared.
The sickness continued once I left hospital, but nowhere near as bad. Stronger sickness tablets were fed through the drip and they actually worked (most of the time). Luckily I have stopped them now as I really detested taking them.
They were really strong and usually given to people having cancer treatment. I can't imagine they are good for a baby!
I’m now only sick around once a day. Yay!
The nausea has gone and I don’t always 'feel sick’ so I can kind of get on with things as normal, well until the tiredness hits me around 5pm! The joys of pregnancy! It's not made for me!
I’m 30 weeks pregnant this week and I just don’t think the sickness will stop this time. It ended by 22 weeks with my first, yet it shows no sign of stopping for my second pregnancy.
So that’s my giant personal update of why I stopped blogging. As I am not my usual size (or self) I have not felt like doing any fashion blog posts like normal. I am mostly in huge pairs of tights, long vests and baggy jumpers… comfort all the way!
I stopped blogging because of hyperemesis, but my blog direction is changing too
Regular readers will notice my beauty posts have started to change too. I have become concerned with the levels of chemicals in most products leading to me going SLS and paraben free.
Well, this has somewhat become a passion, or perhaps obsession, in recent months (along with more chemical free wholesome organic food).
I now only use natural chemical free skin care products. I have started changing my makeup to organic natural based products. So far just my primer and concealer – one item at a time as it’s rather a costly process!
My skin is definitely thanking me for it and has improved greatly, 99% spot free now, finally!
I’m not sure where exactly I’ll go with my blog from now on. I have become very passionate recently about healthy eating, adopting mainly a plant-based whole foods diet. This has led to recent purchases of a juicer and blender as well as far more cooking from scratch.
Oh and we have now have Abel & Cole organic fruit and veg delivered weekly – very impressed so far! We made our first wholemeal pizzas the other day which were totally delicious & so easy to make. I also made some healthy raw chocolate brownies which would totally satisfy any chocolate cravings and only had four ingredients – yum! So I think perhaps my blog will be taking a more wholesome turn.
I may start sharing my natural beauty finds along with some scrumptious smoothie, juice & food recipes. What do you think?
I just feel like a lot of my old blog posts no longer reflect me or who I am. Trying to be a beauty and fashion blogger just isn't the right fit for me. It feels like I am 'trying' rather than it being a natural fit. I didn't enjoy blogging like this, so now I will blog about things I am passionate about.
As baby is due in March I will no longer blog as often as I used to (sometimes several times per week), but will perhaps aim for once per week. The posts may become a little sporadic once the baby arrives! I am certain a new-born and almost three year old will keep me very entertained for a couple of months.
So there it is, my explanation for why blog will be taking more of a healthy living and lifestyle blog direction and why I was MIA.
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