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Eeek, I've Got a Threenager!

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9 signs youve a threenager - troublesome terrible threes blog post - lylia

9 Signs You’ve Got a ‘Threenager’

Forget the ‘terrible twos’, where were they?  Twos were actually rather pleasant in my opinion.  Instead, welcome to the troublesome threes, or even better put – here is your ‘threenager’.  This is the age they realise they can assert their independence, say no, notice tantrums and squeals get a reaction, not always want to talk to you, and often decide to do the exact opposite to what is asked. 

Hello threenager.  

Of course, there are also endless moments of joy, but for a light hearted giggle here are some signs you may have a threenager!

Threenager Signs:

  1. Child asks for pasta, carrots, peas and sauce.   Parent prepares, cooks and serves said pasta, carrots, peas and sauce.  Child pushes dish away, makes a retching noise and says ‘Yuck.  I don’t want this, I want *insert something else*’.
  2. Or alternatively - parent says ‘I’m having a sandwich, would you like one?’ to which Child adamantly declines and asks for pasta.  Parent makes sandwich for self and pasta for child.  Child pushes pasta away and says ‘I want a sandwich’.
  3. Child is asked to get dressed.  Child refuses.  Parent attempts to get child dressed, but child decides to do ‘the flop’.  (The flop: very floppy state as though all limbs are lifeless.)
  4. Child is asked to put shoes on.  Parent realises previously put on socks are no longer on child’s feet and are nowhere to be seen.  Parent asks child where socks have gone to which child replies ‘I don’t know’.  Parent puts more socks on child.  Parent tries to put shoes on child.  Child sits on knees with feet tucked under.
  5. Parent asks child to go to toilet before leaving the house.  Child refuses.  Parent says they must go before house is left.  Child collapses on floor and refuses to go upstairs.  Child says ‘OK, if you carry me’. Parent carries child upstairs.  Child lies face down on floor.  Parent (with a struggle) puts child on toilet and waits a few minutes.  Parent and child leave house.  Five minutes later child needs use of a toilet.
  6. Child goes to preschool for six hours.  Parent picks child up.  Parent asks what child did today, to which child replies ‘nothing’.  Parent asks child who they played with, to which child replies ‘nobody’.
  7. Parent runs child a bath.  Child screams ‘I don’t want a bath, waaaaaaah’.  Parent forces child into bath.  Child makes more ‘waaaaaaah’ sounds.  Child eventually sits down and plays.  Parent tells child ‘it’s time to get out of the bath’.  Child screams ‘I don’t want to get out of the bath, waaaaaaah’.
  8. It is child’s bed time.  Child says they are not tired and refuses to stay in bed.  Parent tells child they will be tired in the morning if they don’t go to bed on time.  After 15/30/45/60* mins (*delete as appropriate) child is finally asleep/staying in bed.  Parent opens child’s door in the morning.  Child rolls over and moans.  ‘I’m tired’ groans the child.
  9. For no apparent reason child lets out howling fake crying noise.  Parent asks child what is wrong.  Child continues to make further louder howling noises and appears to have lost entire vocabulary regardless of current location and surroundings.

9 signs youve a threenager - troublesome terrible threes blog post - lylia