Reuben is Standing (& the silly health visitor…)

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reuben is standing (& the silly health visitor…) - lylia rose uk lifest

Reuben is Standing (& the silly health visitor…)

Whoop!  Another milestone reached!  I said I could wait for Reuben to stand as he’s now going to quickly turn from a baby to a toddler, and I want him to stay my baby for as long as possible!

He’s not yet standing on his own, but he is holding onto the furniture and cruising!  He started to stand up at 11.5 months.  Yes this may seem ‘late’, but I really wasn’t concerned.  And if I’m honest, I probably wasn’t encouraging him as much as I did Bella, as I want to keep him as my baby!!  He only started crawling at 9.5 months, so he was a month and a half later than Bella, so just six or seven weeks on I wasn’t worried he couldn’t stand.

Well, he could ‘stand’, just only if we stood him up.  If he never had the strength at all to stand I might have been worried, but he was strong on his legs so I just knew he’d do it by himself in his own time.

Just two days after standing at the furniture he shocked us by climbing our entire staircase!  I’m sure this timeframe from standing to climbing so many stairs was much quicker than Bella.  Within three days he was cruising quite comfortably from one end of the sofa to another without a wobble in sight.

Which is why I say ‘silly’ health visitor.

I had Reuben’s 9-12 month check recently and it was 2 days after this that he stood by himself for the first time.  There were a bunch of questions on the mahoosive questionnaire I had to fill out beforehand and a whole section on walking.  So at this point in time I had to say he wasn’t walking, or even standing up by himself, so the health visitor queried me about this.  She seemed genuinely shocked he had not stood by himself!

She asked if I was a late walker?  My husband?  Is he really not standing by himself?  But, has he pulled himself up on his own?

No, No, No and No. 

I walked unaided (!) at 10 months, I’m not sure when Ben walked, but it’s never been mentioned he was a late walker and no he hasn’t stood without our help and no he has not pulled himself up yet on his own.

‘Well if he’s not walking by 18 months, you must make sure you contact us’.


So he’s got another 6.5 months to learn, yes?  Or else he’ll join the bunch of crawling around adults you see everywhere who never learnt to walk, right?

And low and behold, he stood two days later and has amazed us by how stable he is and how quickly he can get around! Typical!

I’m not really a worrier, especially when it comes to parenting and my little ones.  I of course question what I do and do worry a little bit, but within reason.  I have confidence in my children and their development.  I’m not one to agonise over every little detail.  We just get on with it.  But for some reason this health visitor bugged me and I did start to worry for a couple of days that my child was developmentally delayed and why isn’t he walking or standing?!  I couldn’t help but keep thinking about it as it seemed quite a shock to this professional.

I just wish I’d stuck with my own usual instinct of knowing everything is well and he’d just do it in his own time.  Like he did.  Two days later.  I could have saved myself two days of unnecessary worry and time wasted thinking about it. 

Babies all reach their milestones at different times.  Yes there are guidelines.  But they are exactly that, guidelines.  Try not to fret!


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  1. This is a great post and I can sympathise with so many of your points regarding HV, when we had our first child we were in all honest young and naive and we found the health visitor to be quite intimidating to say the least. We felt as if we were being scrutinised and evaluated as fit parents. The HV even wanted to see all around our house and inspected it?

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  2. Angela

    My boy has just had his check at 11.5 months and you are spot on with that questionnaire! Spent ages filling it in, knowing full well my third baby wasn't doing quite a few things on it, to be told that a follow up visit was needed! Both of my girls were faster and he is quite a typical lazy boy. You are definitely not alone and all babies go at their own pace so we should try to enjoy them as much as possible as they move through each stage xx a lovely blog to read, thank u for sharing x *** VICTORIA'S REPLY = They seem to do the checks at such random times. My boy had his at 11.5 months, but they didn't do my daughter's check until she was 15 months so she was easily doing it all. There is such a difference between 9 months and 12 months too! Reuben has changed loads in the 3 months. If they checked him now he'd 'pass' with flying colours. You'd think health visitors would be the first people to tell you they'll do it soon ***

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  3. Fabulous post and bless little Reuben! Your words made me smile and I certainly identified with them. My middle girl Emma, now 9 had her 3 year check at around 3.5 (health visitors were running a tad late)! Anyway, the lady that turned up seemed quite perturbed that Emma could not ride a trike. I had bought one for her birthday but bless her she was too small and struggle to get her feet to push the pedals a full 360! This didn't worry me one iota - the health visitor on the other hand..... she kept coming back to it! We finally managed to move past it and Emma was asked if she could count to ten to which she rattled off in both English and French! Proud mum moment and a smug look from me to the health visitor! Emma can now ride a trike and a bike! ***Victoria's Reply - Oh wow! In French too! So impressive :) Most health visitors are accepting of the fact they'll do it in their own time and the notes are simply a 'guide', but this one too seemed very stuck on the fact he wasn't standing at furniture. I felt like ringing her two days later to say he's done it and he's mastered a staircase! Ha! Hopefully she won't scare a first time Mum into thinking their child is not developing :P

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  4. It is so true that all babies are different. I have four children and they all reached milestones at very different times! They do all get there in the end though! *** Victoria's reply - yes they certainly are! I see so many differences between my two already. Also, my daughter crawled at 8 motnhs so we were certain she'd be walking unaided by 12 months, but she kept us waiting until 15 months! So Reuben could even walk sooner than she did :) ***

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