I know more than most people what it feels like when unnecessary spending spirals completely out of control. Between the ages of 18 and 19, I developed a serious clothes shopping addiction. As soon as I could access credit and store cards, I was buying something new almost every day, chasing the feeling I got when people complimented my outfits. I never wanted to wear the same thing twice. By the time I was 19 I owed £17,500 across an overdraft, three credit cards, two loans and seven store cards. I genuinely had no idea of the total until I sat down with Citizens Advice and we added it all up together.

That experience changed me completely, and I've spent the years since becoming, frankly, a bit obsessed with budgeting. If you want the full story, I've written about my £17,500 teenage debt story and how I got out of it in detail.

So when I talk about how to stop spending money on unnecessary things, it's not theoretical for me. Here's what genuinely works, both from my own experience and from what tends to help most people.

Why we overspend on things we don't need

Overspending happens for all sorts of reasons, and it's rarely just about not knowing any better. Sometimes it's peer pressure - friends inviting you somewhere expensive when you're on a tighter budget than they realise. Sometimes it's stress, boredom, or trying to fill a gap that spending can never actually fix. That was certainly true for me with clothes shopping. I wasn't buying things because I needed them. I was buying them because of how low my self-esteem was at the time, and new clothes gave me a short-term hit of feeling good about myself.

Understanding why you overspend matters because it's much harder to fix a problem if you don't know what's actually driving it.

Track everything - spreadsheets are your best friend

This is the single biggest thing that's changed how I manage money. My husband and I use Google Sheets to track every penny. We can both access it from our phones at any time, update it the moment we spend something, and see exactly what's in our accounts and what's left to come out before the next payday.

It sounds intense, but it removes all the guesswork. You're not relying on memory or vague feelings about how much you've spent this week - you can see it in black and white, updated in real time. When you can see exactly where your money is going, unnecessary spending becomes much harder to ignore.

If a spreadsheet feels like too much at first, even a simple list of your spending categories - food, transport, clothes, entertainment - and roughly what you spend on each one is a good starting point. You can always build it out from there.

Give yourself a guilt-free allowance

One thing that's worked really well for us is having a small personal allowance each month, even if it's just £30, £50 or £100 (whatever we can afford at the time), that either of us can spend on whatever we like with absolutely no guilt attached. We share our money and our budgeting, but having that one small pot that's just for you, no questions asked, takes a lot of the pressure off everything else.

It means you're not constantly restricting yourself on everything, which tends to backfire anyway. You can save your allowance if you want to, or spend it on something completely unnecessary and frivolous, and that's fine, because it's accounted for in the budget already.

Replace bad spending habits with better ones

The best way to break a habit is to have something to replace it with. If you're spending £3 on a coffee every weekday on the way to work, that's nearly £800 a year - money that could go towards something you'd actually value more, like a holiday or topping up an emergency fund. Swapping the coffee shop habit for a reusable flask and good coffee made at home can save a genuinely significant amount over a year without you missing out on much at all.

The same logic applies to most unnecessary spending. Look at where your money is actually going, then find a cheaper or free alternative for the things that aren't bringing you much value anyway.

Set a realistic budget for the things you enjoy

You don't need to cut out everything you love to stop unnecessary spending. If eating out with colleagues genuinely brings you joy, set a monthly budget for it rather than banning it altogether. Knowing you have a limit can actually make those occasions feel more special, since they happen less often.

The same goes for clothes, which I know all too well from my own history. Set yourself a realistic monthly limit, and if you find you're consistently going over it, consider a proper zero-spend month on clothes to reset the habit. Buying secondhand on eBay or in charity shops is also a great way to satisfy the urge for something "new" without the same cost or environmental impact.

Use cash or a spreadsheet to make spending visible

There's something about seeing actual cash disappear from your wallet that makes spending feel real in a way that tapping a card never quite does. The cash envelope system - where you allocate physical cash to each spending category for the month - works well for a lot of people for exactly this reason.

If cash isn't practical for you, which is increasingly common, recreate the same effect with a spreadsheet. Log your spending against each category as it happens rather than waiting until the end of the month. Seeing the numbers shrink in real time has the same psychological effect as watching cash disappear from an envelope, and it's exactly how my husband and I manage our own budget now.

Avoid impulse buying with a simple list

Impulse buying is one of the easiest ways unnecessary spending creeps in. Before you go shopping, whether that's groceries, clothes, or anything else, write a list of what you actually need and stick to it. If something catches your eye that isn't on the list, give yourself a waiting period - even 24 hours - before deciding whether you still want it. Often the urge passes entirely.

Watch out for emotional spending

Stress, boredom, FOMO and comparing yourself to others are some of the biggest triggers for unnecessary spending. I know this from personal experience - my own shopping addiction was driven almost entirely by low self-esteem and a fear of missing out on social occasions, not genuine need.

If you notice you're about to buy something because of how you're feeling rather than because you actually need it, try distracting yourself first. A walk, a phone call to a friend, or something that genuinely relieves stress without spending money can be enough to break the urge.

Turn spending into saving

If you've genuinely got a passion for spending, try redirecting that energy into saving instead. Set yourself targets, track your progress, and treat hitting a savings goal with the same excitement you'd get from a purchase. It sounds simple, but reframing saving as something to get excited about rather than something you're "missing out" on by not spending can make a real psychological difference.

Final thoughts

Taking control of unnecessary spending is genuinely one of the most powerful things you can do for your financial wellbeing, but it rarely happens overnight. I went from £17,500 in debt at 19 to being someone who tracks every penny on a shared spreadsheet with my husband, and that didn't happen by accident - it took years of learning, several mistakes along the way, and building good money habits one at a time.

Start by understanding where your money actually goes, find a tracking method that works for you, and be honest with yourself about what's driving the spending you want to change. The rest tends to follow from there.