This isn't about staying completely debt-free. I have debt right now, and that's fine. This is about keeping away from the kind of debt you can't actually pay back, the kind that gets you into real trouble.

Before I was 20, I was in a genuine debt crisis. I was making all the minimum payments, but I was never actually getting out of debt, I was borrowing from one creditor to pay another just to keep up.

That's not the same as having a mortgage or a sensible loan. It's the kind of debt that spirals and takes over your life, and it's what I want to help you avoid, or get out of if you're already there.

My own experience with unmanageable debt

In my late teens, I built up serious debt across seven store cards, three credit cards and a loan, spending on nights out, clothes and meals out, nothing of lasting value. It grew into a £17,500 debt crisis, and I ended up on a debt management plan for five to six years, paying it all back.

That experience shaped how I think about borrowing ever since. Twenty years on, I'm not debt-free, we have a mortgage, and I recently took out two bank loans in my name for my husband's car. But there's a real difference between that debt and the debt I had in my twenties.

Unmanageable debt vs manageable debt

Unmanageable debt is what I had in my twenties: high-interest, spread across multiple cards and lenders, spent on things with no lasting value, and with no real plan to pay it back. It controls you.

Manageable debt is different. It's borrowed deliberately, for something that justifies the cost, at a rate you've actually compared, with a clear plan to pay it off. You control it.

My recent manageable debt (or is it?)

Our cars are a good example. We thought about it for a long time before committing to either. My own previous car was 10 years old when I bought it, a basic budget model, and I kept it for another 10 years, so it was 20 years old by the time I replaced it. My husband's previous car was around 30 years old by the time we replaced it, and he'd had it the best part of 10 years too.

As you can see from our previous cars, we keep them a long time. I justified that if we got much newer cars, we'd keep those for 20 to 30 years, since that's roughly how old our previous cars ended up being.

Neither of us bought our new cars as a monetary investment. It's about getting the right car now, one with all the mod cons we want, that will genuinely last us 20 to 30 years. Both cars were bought second-hand, mine only a few months old, his around 2 years old, and both cost far more upfront than we'd ever spent on a car before.

That's the trade-off we made deliberately: a bigger cost now, for something that gives us comfort and style for decades instead of a few years. Neither was a "I want a new car every 2 years" decision.

Maybe I'm just trying to justify the expense. But we went into these loans with a clear overpayment strategy from the start, not car finance or hire purchase, straightforward bank loans, so we actually own the cars outright. We plan to keep each one for 20 to 30 years, which is a lot better value than people who swap cars every couple of years. Depreciation doesn't really matter if you're keeping something that long, you get the actual use out of it.

I got my car first, about 2 years ago. It was only a few months old with 800 miles on the clock, but already £10,000 cheaper than buying it brand new, and I got the model with everything I wanted. My husband got his roughly a year later, on the same basis.

Between the two cars, we took out three bank loans in total, one for mine and two for his. We compared rates properly before borrowing rather than accepting the first offer from any dealer. At the time, we had a lot of disposable income, so the repayments were easy to manage, even though it still felt scary taking on debt that size.

My loan was originally a 7-year term, but I paid it off in just 2 years by using the same overpayment strategy I always use on loans. We're now doing the same with my husband's loans, hoping to clear those in around 4 years or less instead of the original 7.

My point here is that if debt is affordable and well managed, it doesn't always have to be a bad thing. I think ours is much better than car finance would have been. That said, you never truly know if your circumstances might change, and I always recommend overpaying loans wherever you can, for the interest savings and the extra breathing room it gives you if things do change.

That's not just theory either. Both mine and my husband's income has recently dropped, and if we'd known that would happen, we probably wouldn't have taken on his car loan a year ago. Thankfully, we'd been sensible about it and had been overpaying substantially every single month, which was giving us interest rebates and bringing the monthly payment down. Right now, all our spare cash is going towards overpaying those loans instead, which simply wouldn't be possible if we'd stretched ourselves thin from the start.

Tips to Stay Out of Debt You Can't Pay

Know where your money actually goes. Track every penny for a month, rent, bills, food, subscriptions, everything, and compare it against your income. You'll usually spot at least one thing you're overspending on without realising.

Delay gratification on anything big. Before a large purchase, give yourself time to think it over rather than buying on impulse or credit. Our car loans were both things we'd thought about for months, not spur-of-the-moment decisions.

Take generic financial advice with a pinch of salt. What works for one person's circumstances won't always work for yours, especially advice that's really just trying to sell you a product. If in doubt, speak to an independent financial advisor rather than following a stranger's blanket rule.

Compare rates before you borrow anything. When we bought my husband's car, the dealer offered finance at 10% or more. We got a bank loan at 6% instead. I'd stay away from car finance generally, the interest rates tend to be far higher than a straightforward bank loan.

Only borrow for things that genuinely justify the cost. A mortgage, a reliable car you'll keep for years, or a home improvement that adds real value are different to borrowing for nights out or things with no lasting value.

Don't stretch yourself. Make sure the standard repayments are genuinely affordable on their own, not just affordable because you're also planning to overpay. That way, if you have a tough month, you can simply make the minimum payment without it being a struggle, and any overpaying is a bonus, not a necessity.

Check whether you can overpay. Always check whether a loan allows overpayments before you sign. If it doesn't, you're locked into the full interest cost regardless of what you pay extra, and that was the real difference with car finance, it didn't allow overpayments at all. Our bank loans do, and we get interest rebates plus either a reduced monthly payment or a reduced term, our choice, whenever we overpay.

Track every payment yourself. I track all our direct debits to our loans on a spreadsheet, and log every overpayment and interest rebate too. It's genuinely satisfying to see the balance going down and the real impact each overpayment has made.

Make sure you have an emergency fund in place first. If you overpay aggressively or take on a big purchase and then face an unexpected cost, you may end up needing to borrow again at short notice, which is exactly how debt starts to spiral. Once we decided to save an emergency fund and had a target, it made a real difference. We built our emergency fund a good 7 to 8 years ago now, and we still keep one today in a savings account we never touch, for genuine emergencies only. It also helps debt feel more secure and manageable, knowing you have a lump sum sat in the bank you could always put towards it if circumstances change.

Get help early if debt starts to feel unmanageable. The worst thing you can do is ignore it. Organisations like StepChange and the Citizens Advice Bureau offer free, confidential debt advice. I spent several years on a debt management plan with PayPlan in my twenties, and it was the right decision at the time.

The mindset that keeps debt manageable

The difference between debt that controls you and debt that works for you isn't really about whether you have any at all. It's about whether you've thought it through, compared your options, and have a genuine plan to pay it off.

My debt crisis in my teens was unmanageable, spiralling, and had no plan behind it. My debt now is deliberate, compared, overpaid, and planned.

Today I also have emergency fund savings and other savings I could tap into if I was truly desperate, which makes our car loans feel far less risky than they otherwise would.

My debt in my teens was completely unplanned. I had no savings, was always maxed out on my overdraft, and spent my weekly wages before they'd even arrived in my bank account. I didn't manage my money at all, and I spent the debt like it was free money.

Fast forward a couple of decades later, and today, I still have a mortgage. I still have two bank loans in my name for my husband's car. But both were decisions we made deliberately, not ones that crept up on us. That's what staying out of debt trouble actually looks like for most people, not zero borrowing, but borrowing that you're in control of.

Once we've paid off these two car loans, we'll redirect that money into our retirement savings, investments and emergency savings instead, and hopefully never take on any debt ever again.