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What Are The Secrets Of A Magnetic Personality? *

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Where you go in life and what you achieve doesn’t have all that much to do with your grades at university. Technical skill and knowledge of a particular subject will only take you so far. Much more important is the way that you interact with people and how they respond to you. To be successful in whatever you do, you need to develop a magnetic personality. You want people to love being around you, no matter who they are.

But developing these personality traits can be difficult. These sorts of changes usually only occur over the long term. Here are some of the first steps you can take to begin radically overhauling your personality.

Start With Listening

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People who are focused on themselves are rarely the most personable people. Nothing is worse than being trapped in a conversation with somebody who isn’t interested in you or what you’re doing. It’s boring, and you end up resenting the whole interaction. If you want people to like you, it’s best to focus on them and their interests. Be curious, ask questions and above all, listen to what they say. You’ll pick up a lot about their needs and interests very quickly.

Practice Your Trade

As with most things, likeability requires a little bit of practice. It takes time to develop the skills necessary to bring genuine appeal to those around us. The good news is that the internet offers a place to practice and improve without having to engage with real people immediately. Some sites now offer personal development tests that measure how personable we actually are. And the good news is that there is always scope to improve.

Address People With Their Names

In psychology, there’s a phenomenon called “implicit egotism.” It sounds quite complicated, but the concept behind it is really rather simple. It’s the idea that people love to hear the sound of their own names. The idea emerged when statisticians noticed something rather odd about the names of people in dentistry. There were far more dentists called Dennis than there should have been. This led them to theorize that people love the sound of their own name. So much, in fact, that they’re willing to build careers on them. Names have deep roots, so remember them when speaking or writing.

Use Mirroring

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One of the best ways to make yourself more personable is to mirror the actions of the person with whom you are speaking. Having the same gestures, body language and movements as the other person helps them to feel relaxed. And when they feel comfortable around you, they’re more likely to want to spend time with you.

Don’t Lie: Be Authentic

Many people feel the pressure to lie about their circumstances, whether it’s about their job or their happy family. But what we say often doesn’t match reality. The problem with this is if you get found out. Getting caught lying is a surefire way to have your credibility crushed.

A better policy is to be authentic. Be truthful about your situation. The people you are speaking with will quickly do the same.  No one likes a liar and you'll lose trust instantly.

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 Click to read my next blog post: Bella’s First Week at School

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  1. Hi Lylia, I just came across your post which takes me back to when I was studying a human behaviour and communication module at university. Mirroring body language has proven throughout my professional career to help interactions flow better, especially in interview situations and within meetings where I'm looking to influence the person I'm talking to. Using names has also proven to be an effective technique which feeds into 'positive strokes' I.e. Actions and words which complement the other party such as using a name to show interest and engagement. Great post, thanks!

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  2. Hey Lylia - I really enjoyed reading this post. I am just taking on a leadership role in a large FTSE 100 company and am spending a lot of my time focusing on outward projection, this post will help no end. Addressing people by names is something I've had a lot of success with as of late, I think I would benefit from taking the rest of your recommendations into account. Thanks for sharing this, great post. *** VICTORIA'S REPLY >>> Thanks for commenting. It's also a useful way to remember new names. Supposedly if you say a person's name three times when you first meet them, you won't forget it.

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