How to make moving in together go smoothly
Moving in with someone is a huge milestone in any relationship. It’s precisely because of this that practical concerns can often get drowned out by the romance of it all. So, as tough as it to think about worst case scenarios when you and your partner are dreaming about your life together, you’ll be happier that you did in the long run.
1. Be Honest About Money
Money is the leading cause of arguments in relationships with 35% of people saying that it is the primary cause of friction. One of the main reasons this is the case is that couples aren’t honest about money at the start of the relationship.
Notions like “what’s mine is yours” and “I’ll get this; don’t worry” are wonderfully chivalrous and polite at the start of a relationship. However, it’s not a practical idea long-term. Clinging to the fantasy that money doesn’t matter in a relationship can be pretty damaging. Because, of course, money does matter.
2. Have Realistic Expectations About Romance
They’re not going to cook for you or buy you flowers every day when you move in. It’s too much to expect from someone and, deep down, you know this because you wouldn’t want them to expect it of you.
On the flipside, if you think moving in means that the romance in your relationship is sure to die, then it will die. The way to keep it alive is to believe that it won’t and to believe that you can still act like a goofy couple on their first date from time to time.
3. Give Each Other Space
Following on from the last point, you’re going to be spending a lot of time together, but not really together. Sat in the same room on separate laptops, eating dinner together but not talking, or watching TV together in different seats. In fact, there may come a point where you want to spend a couple of days apart from each other. All of this is normal and, so long as you still love each other, it’s fine.
No-one wants to spend every waking moment giving another person constant attention. A big part of trusting each other is trusting the other person to go off and do their own thing from time to time. You’ll probably find that some time apart will make reuniting all the more exciting.
4. Use a Lawyer in the Legal 500 Family Law
The Legal 500 Family Law is a prestigious, world-renowned list of some of the best family lawyers in the country. While it may seem quite extreme to resort to a lawyer to settle your arguments about cleaning the toilet, getting a lawyer to help you with a cohabitation agreement is a perfectly sensible thing to do.
“Cohabitation” is just the legal word for “living together” and a cohabitation agreement is a legal agreement about your living arrangements. Think of it like insurance. You hope that you won’t need it but, if something goes wrong, it’s good to have it. The Legal 500 Family Law have been drawing up a list of the country’s best lawyers for years. So, if you’re going to pick someone to draw up your cohabitation agreement, be sure to pick a lawyer from the Legal 500 Family Law.
5. Divide Work Fairly
Don’t let prevailing social norms dictate who should do what around the house. Just make sure that you both know who’s doing what. Maybe one of you is better at DIY than the other, maybe one of you is a better cook and maybe one of you is better at maths. In which case, ignore the stereotypes and divvy up tasks based on what’s fair and what best utilises each person’s skills.