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Kids say the funniest things: 16 hilarious quotes from children

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The best jokes come from the mouths of babes. Kids say the funniest things, and sometimes they don't even know they're being funny!  My daughter, Bella, is now five years old and says some of the funniest things as she works out the world around her!  I actually remembered to write four of these down recently and wanted to share them with you.  I also asked other parent bloggers what funny things their children have said recently and they really came out with some crackers!

Kids say the funniest things_ 16 hilarious quotes from children

Here are 16 hilarious things children say: 

First up, four from my Bella:


We arrive in Germany

Bella: What world are we in?

Daddy: Planet earth

Bella: I mean what flag is it?

Daddy: Red, yellow and black

Bella: Oh.

Mummy: Do you mean which country are we in?

Bella: Yes!


I made Bella eat some asparagus and she pulled a gagging face and spat it into tissue

Me: Didn't you like that Bella?

Bella: I did like it, my mouth just didn't want to eat it. 


Questions Bella asks when playing Guess Who with Daddy

Bella - Does yours have eyebrows?

Bella - Does yours have lovely hair? 


Bella - ‘Mummy, when you die can I have your laptop and sunglasses?’


If you make my daughter jump she always says "Oh mummy, you scared my life! Feel my heart beeping!" Makes us laugh so much! - May Flower Blogs


My four year old son was asking his nana why she wrote in a diary. She said well when I’m not on this planet anymore you can read all about me. His reply..."nana, what planet are you on" - we cracked up! We sometimes ask the same


If I ask my son if he is hungry and wants some dinner he replies 'yes I don't want to die.' I've tried to educate him that he won't die from missing a meal but he insists!


At the moment we have "that's a big cock" (whilst pointing at the clock) and "mummy likes big balls" (when she sees me bouncing on my pregnancy ball) God help me!


At the moment if my son loses a toy or book etc. he says "oh no I've lost that forever and ever I'll never get it back now” He's 3!


When we go to the park with my daughter we often play Pooh Sticks on the bridge, so we tell her to keep an eye out for any 'big sticks' - sadly, out the mouth of a 2 year old she runs around shouting "look, big dicks!"


My 8 year old was out shopping with me last week and he went off to get a block of cheese. He came back with one saying "is this one ok, it says it's extra manure cheese". Hmmmm lovely!


I have several! At the moment when I ask my 5 year old daughter to do anything she says "mummy I've got a pair of hands!" Instead of I've only got one pair of hands. Recently we also went to France and I taught her that 'oui' means yes. She said 'does that mean poo means no!'


My 2 year is great for one liners at the moment.  We recently passed a bakery on the way to my Mum's house and he came out with "Let's go the pie shop and get a pie for Nanna and a cake for Oliver!" That's Nanna's pie and cake secret blown wide open!


Back handed compliment to my husband from our 4 year old daughter: "You're the best daddy ever... you are so squashy!"  Http://


My girls couldn't say their "c's" or "K's" when they were younger. Unfortunately they loved Hello Kitty, which was a little embarrassing when they shouted "Hello Titty" in supermarkets whenever they spotted an item with Hello Kitty on!


My son calls fidget spinners midget spinners, my hubby thinks it's hilarious, while I keep correcting him! - The Cheshire Wife


Aren’t they just brilliant!