Balancing a busy schedule and a relationship can be quite a challenge. It’s something I have personal experience of.
I have been building my own self-employed business for several years and even now it’s established it can have me working all day and even through the evening up until bedtime. Like Mike Pickles, owner of Really Useful Products, once said at a networking event I attended ‘I always thought I worked hard, until I ran my own business’.
When I’m on my computer or my phone working then I’m often in the zone and can completely block out my husband who is trying to talk to me!
On top of this we have two young children and we have been doing up a fixer-upper for a few years, so more often than not any kind of romantic relationship with my husband has had to take a back seat. It can often feel like I'm too busy for a relationship.
Now my husband has set up his own business in the past year and realised how consuming it can be!
Still, our relationship has managed to survive one or both of us having busy schedules. Here’s how.
Find Your Own Hobbies
It’s really important to find your own hobbies and interests to ensure you are content by yourself. If your other half is working long hours then you need to be able to entertain yourself and not rely on them for entertainment and preventing your own loneliness.
Learn to cherish your alone time and practice self-care.
Make Sure Your Time Together is Quality Time
Too often we are distracted by modern technology and glued to our phones, even when we spend time with those we love. It’s so easy to find out information by picking up our iPhones and we easily do this even in the middle of watching a film together or enjoying a meal.
It’s important to totally switch off from work and digitally when spending time together as a couple. Put phones in another room and give each other your full attention, even if just for one evening per week!
If you start to feel neglected in your relationship or that the other is overworking, then communicate your feelings to one another and talk. Don’t bottle worries up or let them build into feelings of resentment or anger that can result in an argument.
It’s much better to be open and talk about things as you feel them to come to a solution.
Support Each Other
The best thing you can do in your relationship in any situation is to support each other and be understanding of the other’s situation.
If your other half needs to work long hours or put time into their business then understand why this is important to them. Support them in their journey and they will support you in yours.
If they are working long hours then why don’t you run them a bath or cook the evening meal?
Make them a cup of tea if they’re nonstop or send a quick text to let them know you’re thinking of them and you know how hard they are working.
If they’ve allowed for your busy schedule and then there’s gets busy, it’s really only fair that you allow for this and support them as they supported you!
We aren’t very sentimental or ‘lovey dovey’ in our relationship, but even having a good hug each day can ensure we still feel connected physically and emotionally.
It can be hard to find time for intimacy when one or both of you have such busy schedules, especially when you throw kids into the mix too. Keeping a relationship going after having kids can be tricky!
Check out this article by ReGain about common intimacy issues and how to deal with them. If your relationship has intimacy issues then you may wish to seek the help of a professional counsellor to help solve your problems.
Don't forget about special occasions, Valentines Day, aniversaries and other times you can celebrate your relationship and do something special together, if only ordering a takeaway!
Find Moments of Time to Spend Together Daily
Starting your day by sharing a coffee together and ending it by talking together for half hour or even watching an episode of something with one another can really make a difference.
Find little moments of time you can spend together throughout the day to connect, even if only for ten minutes here and there.
Perhaps you can call your other half whilst you are on your lunch break if you can’t see them in person, or meet up for lunch at least once a week on your work lunch break.
Add Dates Into Your Schedule
Sure work is important and working out is important, but your relationship is important too. Don’t forget to add dates into your busy schedule, even on a weekly or fortnightly basis, so you can enjoy your relationship as a couple.
If you can get childcare, then visit a new place together and have a romantic day/evening/weekend. Here's some inspiration for date nights in Suffolk that are affordable that may give you some inspiration for ideas wherever you are that won't break the bank!
Block this time out to spend with one another and commit to it.
Treat Each Other
When juggling a busy schedule, it's important to take the time to show appreciation and treat your partner. Surprising your partner with a thoughtful gesture, such as cooking a special meal, giving a massage, or planning a surprise outing, can be a great way to show your love and appreciation.
A couples hamper is another thoughtful and romantic way to show your partner that you care. You can choose a predesigned hamper to suit, such as a cosy night in hamper for the perfect date night at home. Some hampers can be customised with a variety of items, such as chocolates, wine, bath products, and more. You can even make your own couples hamper by selecting items that your partner loves.
Whatever you do, make sure to show your partner that they are valued and loved. By taking the time to treat each other, couples can maintain a strong connection and keep their relationship going, even when life gets busy.
Final Word: How to Make a Relationship Last When You Have a Busy Schedule
Balancing a busy schedule and a relationship requires effort and commitment, but it is possible to make it work. It's important to communicate openly and support each other through the ups and downs of life. Finding moments of time to spend together, even if just for a few minutes a day, can go a long way in maintaining a strong connection.
Remember to prioritise your relationship and make time for each other, whether it's through regular date nights, couples hampers, or other thoughtful gestures. Small acts of kindness and appreciation can make a big difference in keeping the spark alive, even when life gets hectic.
- Find your own hobbies and interests to prevent feelings of loneliness and make sure to practice self-care.
- Ensure that the time spent together is quality time by putting phones away and giving each other your full attention.
- Communicate openly with each other and avoid bottling up feelings of resentment or anger.
- Support each other through understanding and being there for each other during busy times.
- Make small but thoughtful gestures to show appreciation and affection, like running a bath, cooking a meal, or sending a text.
- Don't forget to celebrate special occasions and make time for regular dates and moments of connection.
- Consider a couples hamper as a thoughtful and romantic way to show your love and appreciation.
- Remember that a successful relationship is a team effort and requires effort, communication, and commitment.
Above all, remember that a successful relationship is a team effort. By working together and supporting each other, you can overcome any challenges and build a fulfilling and loving partnership.
Originally posted in 2020 and updated in 2023. We've both been running our own businesses for years now, and the busyness is real...!