We're in one of those periods right now. Two self-employed incomes, one of which has been quieter than usual, and the kind of financial tightness where you're watching every single outgoing and wondering what next month looks like. It's stressful. I won't pretend otherwise.

But we're managing it, and we've got a plan - even if the plan is just to get through this stretch without derailing everything we've built. If you're in a similar situation, here's what we're actually doing. Not generic advice. The real version.

Cut subscriptions and keep only what you actually use

The first thing we did was go through every subscription and cancel anything non-essential. We downgraded Netflix to the cheapest ad-supported version, which honestly isn't that different from a watching experience but saves a few pounds a month. Those few pounds matter right now.

Go through your bank statements and find every recurring payment. You'll almost certainly find something you'd forgotten about. Cancel or downgrade anything you can live without.

Meal plan every week without exception

We now meal plan every single week before we do the food shop. It sounds obvious but it makes a huge difference to the weekly spend. We've also been deliberately including cheap easy nights - soup, jacket potatoes, pasta in sauce - rather than fully cooked meals every night. Nobody complains, it all gets eaten, and the food budget is noticeably lower.

Planning meals means you only buy what you need, waste less, and aren't standing in front of the fridge at 6pm making expensive panic decisions. It's one of the most effective things we've done.

Meals out only with vouchers or when you've earned it

We've basically stopped meals out unless we have a specific reason - a birthday, or free money to cover it. We have Tesco Clubcard vouchers for Pizza Express which we've been saving, so that's our treat when we want one. We've also sold things on eBay and Facebook Marketplace and used some of that money specifically to cover a meal out, which makes it feel earned rather than reckless.

It means you still get to have those moments, they just require a bit more planning.

Sell everything you don't need

This has been genuinely transformative this year. We had a big clear out - attic, sheds, the lot - and sold everything we could on eBay, Preloved and Facebook Marketplace. I've made almost £1,000 on my personal eBay account alone this year, and Ben has sold things on his and Facebook Marketplace too, probably at least another £500 between us. That money has paid for food, kids' activities, and the occasional treat without touching our regular income.

If you haven't had a proper clear out recently, start there. Most homes have hundreds of pounds worth of stuff just sitting unused.

Find free family entertainment and have no-spend weekends

We have a strict family entertainment budget each week. If there's nothing left in it, that week becomes a no-spend week or no-spend weekend. It sounds restrictive but it actually pushes you to be creative - walks, bike rides, the beach if the weather holds (we're in Cornwall so that helps), free local events, games at home.

Summer makes this easier, obviously. The long evenings and being able to get outside makes tight weeks feel far less grim than they would in January.

Overpay debt rather than save

We've paused our savings and retirement contributions for now, which is genuinely the most stressful part of this whole period. We have a retirement savings goal and pausing it feels like going backwards. But the logic is sound - overpaying the mortgage and reducing loan balances brings down the minimum monthly payments and reduces the interest we're paying, which gives us more flexibility faster than saving into accounts where we're earning less than we're paying in interest.

It's a short-term sacrifice for a faster route back to normal. That framing helps.

Both of us are actively trying to earn more

Ben has started taking on more handyman work alongside his marketing business while things are quieter. Having a second string to pull on makes a real difference both financially and mentally - you're doing something about the situation rather than just waiting for it to improve. If your partner or you have a skill that could bring in extra money on the side, now is the time to use it.

I've also been working far more than usual - up to 12 hours a day some days, and sometimes both weekend days, though I do try to protect weekends as much as I can so the kids aren't completely side-lined all week and we still get some family time and time together as a couple. We're both actively trying to fix it rather than just cutting back and waiting.

Tips for looking after yourself when finances feel tight

Protect family time even when you're working more. When money is tight and you're putting in extra hours, it's easy to let family time slip completely. I'm working up to 12 hour days at the moment but I try hard to keep weekends as family time - not always possible, but important to aim for. The kids still need you present, and so does your relationship.

Still have treats, just fund them differently. Cutting everything enjoyable out of life makes a tough period feel unbearable. We still have meals out and nice things occasionally - we're lucky to have a WTW cinema nearby which isn't as expensive as some of the bigger chains, so a family trip to the cinema is still doable. We also fund treats from selling preloved items on eBay and Facebook Marketplace rather than from our regular budget. That way the treats feel earned and they don't derail anything.

Focus on the end goal. Having something to aim for makes a huge difference. For us it's getting back to making retirement contributions and returning to our normal financial position. Writing it down and reminding yourself why you're doing this helps enormously on the hard days.

Remember it's temporary. It doesn't feel temporary when you're in it, but it is. Every cut-back, every extra hour worked, every no-spend weekend is shortening the difficult period. It will end.

Work on a fix, not just a cut. Cutting back helps but it only goes so far. The real shift comes from working on a solution - whether that's a new income stream, extra work, retraining, a career change, or starting something new on the side. Ben picking up more handyman work is a fix. Me working longer hours is a fix. Passive cutting alone isn't enough.

Talk to each other. Financial stress puts enormous pressure on relationships, especially when both of you are worried. We try to talk openly about where we are and what we're doing about it rather than both carrying it separately. It doesn't make the stress disappear but it makes it feel shared, and that matters.

Accept the stress but keep perspective

It is stressful. Genuinely stressful. Not knowing exactly what we'll have for food or kids' clubs the following week is not a feeling I enjoy, and I won't dress it up as a fun challenge or a learning opportunity. It isn't.

But there is something grounding about having a clear plan and a clear goal - to get back on track, restart retirement savings, and return to the financial position we want to be in. Having that aim makes the tight period feel temporary rather than permanent. It's hard right now, but it won't always be hard, and everything we're doing is making it shorter.

If you're in this position too, you're not failing. This happens to a lot of people, including people who are generally good with money and working hard. The plan matters more than the situation.