Marriage is one of the most important decisions of a person’s life. The key to a happy marriage is mutual respect, understanding, compromises, sacrifices, and honesty between the two partners. It is not just the union of two people, it’s the union of two families.
Given the high stakes of the institution, it requires the partners to consider several other things other than the love between them. They say that love and respect can steer the metaphorical ship of marriage, and that is true to some extent. But a happy and successful marriage requires more than just love and respect. It is more than just sharing a surname.
It requires honest conversations on a range of topics. In this article, we will outline the five extremely crucial conversations you must have with your partner before entering the institution of marriage.
Be serious about finances
Talking about money with your partner can help you avoid uncalled-for financial problems and monetary dishonesty. A lot of people don't think about discussing finances before getting married, but it's a very important thing to do. It's important because you need to know what you're getting into and if you can handle the responsibility.
There are a lot of things that need to be discussed when it comes to personal finances before marriage, like who will handle the finances, what will happen in case of divorce, and how much each person is expected to contribute.
It is important to discuss this issue early on in the relationship so that you can avoid any potential conflicts later on down the line.
The following are some of the topics you should discuss:
How will the home's expenses be covered?
What is your attitude toward money?
Do you like to spend or save money?
Is one of you better off financially than the other?
If that's the case, how will you split the costs?
How about major purchases? Do you even have a spending plan?
Do you believe you should have separate, joint, or both accounts?
Check out what I think in my article Joint bank account or separate finances for a happy marriage?
Handling disagreements and fights
No relationship is void of fights and disagreements. In fact, they play a vital role in strengthening the relationship further.
The success of a marriage is not just dependent on the emotional connection between two people. It also depends on how they handle disagreements.
Before getting married, it's important to discuss how you'll handle disagreements and what your expectations are. This will help you stay on the same page and avoid any future issues. The goal is to avoid arguments and instead settle differences in a constructive way.
Make sure you're both on the same page when it comes to dealing with disagreements. Decide what is acceptable battle behavior, regardless of your debate style.
Discussing whether you want to have children before getting married is one of the most important conversations that you should have with your partner.
The reason is that it will not only help you understand each other better, but also help you plan for the future.
If one of the partners wants to start a family and the other doesn't, then it's best to know about this early on in order to avoid any conflict later on.
It may be difficult for some people to talk about this topic, but it's important that both partners are on the same page before they get married.
You should be very clear about the idea of starting a family as a married couple. You should ask and answer questions such as:
Do you wish to start a family? How many children does each of you expect?
What are your plans for nurturing the connection after children enter the picture?
What parenting approaches do you employ? Are they similar in any way?
Who is going to stay at home? Will both of you have to work?
Do you intend to parent in the same manner that your parents did?
If there are disparities between how you have been raised and how you want to parent, how will you address them?
How will you handle the time away from the children?
Boundaries and personal space
You must discuss the boundaries that you want each other to respect as a married couple. In addition to the boundaries you want to adhere to, another vital aspect of a healthy marriage is the personal space of each partner.
Talk about how much ‘me-time’ you need apart from each other. People frequently overlook this topic at first, but after the intensive closeness of the early days, one or both of you may want to have some time away. As a result, you might begin to spend time with others.
Personal space is a crucial aspect of our lives. It is not just about physical boundaries but also about emotional ones as well. Our personal space defines how we feel and what we are comfortable with in our lives.
Once you have the above conversations with your partner, you can ensure that the building blocks of your marriage can hold the weight of the full structure. Make it a point to involve your partner in these topics before you tie the knot.
Once married, check out these four important things you must do once you are married.
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