Kids say the funniest things: 16 hilarious quotes from children

Posted on 7:30pm Thursday 31st Aug 2017

Kids say the funniest things: 16 hilarious quotes from children

My daughter, Bella, is now five years old and says some of the funniest things as she works out the world around her! I actually remembered to write four of these down recently and wanted to share them with you.

I also asked other parent bloggers what funny things their children have said recently and they really came out with some crackers!

Here are 16 hilarious things children say:

First up, four from my Bella:

One

We arrive in Germany

Bella: What world are we in?

Daddy: Planet earth

Bella: I mean what flag is it?

Daddy: Red, yellow and black

Bella: Oh.

Mummy: Do you mean which country are we in?

Bella: Yes!

Two

I made Bella eat some asparagus and she pulled a gagging face and spat it into tissue

Me: Didn't you like that Bella?

Bella: I did like it, my mouth just didn't want to eat it.

Three

Questions Bella asks when playing Guess Who with Daddy

Bella - Does yours have eyebrows?

Bella - Does yours have lovely hair?

Four

Bella - ‘Mummy, when you die can I have your laptop and sunglasses?’

Five

If you make my daughter jump she always says "oh mummy, you scared my life-feel my heart beeping!" Makes us laugh so much! http://mayflowerblogs.com

Six

My four year old son was asking his nana why she wrote in a diary. She said well when I’m not on this planet anymore you can read all about me. His reply..."nana, what planet are you on" - we cracked up! We sometimes ask the same www.meandbmaketea.com

Seven

If I ask my son if he is hungry and wants some dinner he replies 'yes I don't want to die.' I've tried to educate him that he won't die from missing a meal but he insists! https://www.sophobsessed.com

Eight

At the moment we have "that's a big cock" (whilst pointing at the clock) and "mummy likes big balls" (when she sees me bouncing on my pregnancy ball) God help me! www.thentherewerethree.uk

Nine

At the moment if my son loses a toy or book etc. he says "oh no I've lost that forever and ever I'll never get it back now” He's 3! www.anklebitersadventures.co.uk

Ten

When we go to the park with my daughter we often play Pooh Sticks on the bridge, so we tell her to keep an eye out for any 'big sticks' - sadly, out the mouth of a 2 year old she runs around shouting "look, big dicks!" http://www.sophiesnursery.com

Eleven

My 8 year old was out shopping with me last week and he went off to get a block of cheese. He came back with one saying "is this one ok, it says it's extra manure cheese". Hmmmm lovely! www.packthepjs.com

Twelve

I have several! At the moment when I ask my 5 year old daughter to do anything she says "mummy I've got a pair of hands!" Instead of I've only got one pair of hands. Recently we also went to France and I taught her that 'oui' means yes. She said 'does that mean poo means no!' http://blissfuldomestication.com

Thirteen

My 2 year is great for one liners at the moment. We recently passed a bakery on the way to my Mum's house and he came out with "Let's go the pie shop and get a pie for Nanna and a cake for Oliver!" That's Nanna's pie and cake secret blown wide open! https://www.onesmallhuman.co.uk

Fourteen

Back handed compliment to my husband from our 4 year old daughter: "You're the best daddy ever... you are so squashy!" Http://www.wavetomummy.com

Fifteen

My girls couldn't say their "c's" or "K's" when they were younger. Unfortunately they loved Hello Kitty, which was a little embarrassing when they shouted "Hello Titty" in supermarkets whenever they spotted an item with Hello Kitty on! http://www.trulymadlycuckoo.co.uk

Sixteen

My son calls fidget spinners midget spinners, my hubby thinks it's hilarious, while I keep correcting him! thecheshirewife.com

Aren’t they just brilliant! Let me know the funny things you’ve heard kids say in the comments!

How to Introduce Your Child to Healthy Food

Posted on 7:00pm Thursday 31st Aug 2017

How to Introduce Your Child to Healthy Food

It can be really difficult to encourage your child to foster a love of healthy vegetables and fruit over the tempting sweets and cakes that are often associated with childhood. Some children can be notoriously picky too! As parents, we want our children to be healthy, but sometimes it’s an uphill struggle getting them to eat a nutritious and well-balanced diet. The key is to make food fun and encourage your child by ensuring you set a good example, you can’t bemoan their choices if you sit there guzzling fizzy drinks and tucking into numerous chocolate biscuits (nice as they are).

Help them to make healthy food choices inside and outside of the home by following these two simple tips:

Plan your Menu

The more you plan ahead for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks and drinks the less likely you are to turn to quick (and often unhealthy) ready meals and snacks to fill the gap. Menu planning offers you the opportunity to think of healthy options and can save you money too. Start small, you might not feel ready to dive in with a seven-day full on menu plan, but think ahead for a couple of days at a time.

Go for balanced meals, think whole-grain pasta and rice, plenty of fresh vegetables and if you eat meat then choose lean meats. Add fresh fruit and enjoy refreshing water. The solution lies in not overloading on one food-group, instead aim for variety and make mealtimes and snack-times interesting. Batch cooking and freezing can be a great way of ensuring there is always something healthy readily available after a long day.

If they’re old enough, let them help you in the kitchen. This will help instil a lifelong love of cooking.

Prepare Lunches and Snacks

If you’re going out for the day take along suitable snacks and plenty of water, then you won’t be tempted to grab a chocolate bar and fizzy drink as the energy levels dip. Kids often don’t give much warning before announcing they are “starving” and it’s tempting to bribe them with treats for a quiet life. Keep colourful fruit and tasty wholegrain baby snacks to hand in cute snack boxes so they can help themselves when they get peckish. Make sure you keep an eye on the time and provide the snacks before they start the whinge-campaign, that way you can enjoy a more relaxed and healthier day out.

If you are sending your child to school or on a day out with a packed lunch, make it interesting by offering a selection of items. My Bella loves a mixture of items and calls it her ‘picnic lunch’. Sandwiches cut into shapes and colourful fruit and veg can attract their attention. Invest in a bento box with a bright design and don’t forget to add a name tag so they can find their lovely lunch easily.

Does Your Life Have You In Shackles? It's Time To Break Free *

Posted on 6:00am Thursday 31st Aug 2017

It can be odd to think back two years, five years or even a decade and realise how far you’ve come in life. You were once a carefree young singleton with the world at your feet and nothing but optimism in your aura. Somehow, life and all it has to throw at you has made you more realistic, and pessimism has slowly begun to creep into your being. You ache to restore that naivety and innocence that you enjoyed throughout your adolescence but now, with a family and responsibilities, it can be hard to find time to concentrate on your well-being when you are so busy taking care of others. But you wouldn’t have it any other way. You have found your soulmate, and you have some delightful little human beings all of your own that you wouldn’t change for the world. That doesn’t stop you from reminiscing.

It’s almost as if you have forgotten how you ended up where you are right now. What happened to make you lose your spontaneity, feistiness and vigour? Is it a simple case of ageing or is there something more to decipher? Life doesn’t have to change from a thrilling adventure to a humdrum existence just because you have gotten a little older and have kids of your own. Let’s take a look at all of the different areas of our lives and try to uncover how we can break free from the shackles of our habits and routines.

Work

Some of us were blessed when we were younger because we knew the exact occupation we wanted to pursue from the age of four and there was no deviation. You remember your best friend who always want to be a vet and she now has her own animal practice that she has been working in for the past decade. She was driven and remains fulfilled with her work life.

You, on the other hand, were one of those kids who didn’t know what they wanted to do. You weren’t a slacker or a procrastinator; you just couldn’t find the spark in something that made you fully commit to an employment path. In the end, you found yourself somehow tumbling into your current role without really considering the long term consequences. You now find yourself completing the 9 - 5, five days a week and not really finding any passion or verve in what you are doing. It’s time to step back and reassess. Now that you have your little ones and you are a little older, think about what it is that you could see yourself doing up until your retirement. Your mundane desk job doesn’t have to see you shackled forever. Are you keen on working with children? Is charity work something that you are interested in? Or do you want to make a career out of your passion for all things antique and vintage? It’s time to explore all of your options and relight a little bit of fire in your belly. Work life takes up at least 40 hours of your week. You need to make sure it is something that you enjoy doing.

Health

If you’ve noticed that you’ve started putting on the pounds a little easier in the last couple of years, then this is something that is a byproduct of ageing. As we grow older, our metabolisms do tend to slow down. It also doesn’t help if you gorge yourself on all manner of sweet treats at Christmas and rinse the all-inclusive summer holiday for all it’s worth. Consider taking a look at your diet and embarking on a cleaner and healthier way of eating.

There’s no need to employ a personal trainer or nutritionist to get your daily health routine into shape. There are a few things that you can do to tweak your lifestyle that’ll see you feeling happier, more content and healthier.

Taste the rainbow. That doesn’t mean purchasing all the skittles you can get your hands on, but instead working out some sensible meals that you can enjoy with your family that include fruit and vegetables of all colours. If you can ensure that your plate is full of vegetables of at least three colours, you will be taking on board a variety of antioxidants, nutrients and vitamins. Launch yourself into the world of smoothies and experiment with kale, blueberries and flax. Maybe give the wheatgrass a miss unless you are made of tough stuff. If you have a sweet tooth add a squeeze of honey and don’t head for the chocolate drawer.

When it comes to exercise, you’ll be surprised at how active you actually are running after your little ones. It’s easy to lose motivation for partaking in any form of physical activity, especially after having your little bundles of joy. You may feel more self-conscious and aware of the post pregnancy weight that you still find yourself carrying around, but you shouldn’t. Gyms are now hugely welcoming, and some will often open up at specific times just for people who have an issue with their body confidence. You could investigate women only gyms and take a friend along for moral support.

If you’ve never been a gym bunny, consider playing a sport. If you loved racquet sports when you were younger, take a trip to your local badminton or tennis club and hit a few balls. Being more active releases the happy hormone dopamine which can stimulate positive thoughts and ensure that you edge out the emerging pessimism from your life.

Sex, Drugs, And Rock And Roll

Ok, so the chances are you don’t live the most hedonistic of lifestyles. This is good. Your idea of a vice might be a glass of red wine with dinner and a cheeky cigarette now and then. If you are keen to revolutionise your life for the better, it’s a wise idea to curb the smoking altogether. With vaping companies such as Electronic Cigarettes Limited becoming more mainstream, there is now an alternative to the tar and noxious chemicals that you force your body to endure when you take a drag on a cigarette.

You could forego the cigarettes and the substitutes by going completely cold turkey. You may need to find another activity to occupy you such as chewing sugar-free gum or completing a sudoku. Soon you’ll be a master of the Japanese puzzle.

If partaking in a dram of alcohol once in a while is your vice, it’s time to reassess your drinking habits. Have a drink with an evening meal and limit all other drinking to the weekend. An effective way to motivate yourself to do this is to think of something you want to save up for. This could be a trip to Disneyland for the kids, a new car or some home improvements. As you lessen your drinking, you’ll notice the savings add up. As the money pot builds, you’ll be keen to continue to reach your financial goal.

Find Time For You

With a partner and kids, finding time alone can be like finding a needle in a haystack. It’s virtually impossible. In order to begin feeling more fulfilled, you need to set aside some time to embark on your own activities. You may want to take up a new hobby such as cycling or a martial art. You might want to take some time out to learn a new instrument or language. By immersing yourself in something new, you are giving your life a renewed purpose.

It’s great to have a solid family unit, but it is also beneficial to have something just for you, that you can retreat to if you begin to find the stresses of life a little too overwhelming. Finding time to relax can be tricky, but even if it is just one evening a week where you ask your other half to take care of your little cherubs while you head off to a yoga class, you’ll be able to unwind and let go of the pressures that have built up over the week. Yoga is an effective tool to control your breathing, gently exercise all of your muscle groups and rationalise your thoughts. If you join a yoga club, you’ll meet like minded people and make new friends, breaking the monotony that is beginning to seep into your life.

With the busy lives we lead in the twenty-first century, it can be ridiculously hard to find the time to take stock and consider how we want to change our lives for the better. There is no point saying you want to make your life more fruitful but then doing nothing about it. It’s time to take up a new hobby, sort out the 9 - 5, get fitter, healthier and happier and lead your life with a renewed sense of purpose, vigour and enjoyment.

*collaborative post

Blog

» Listings for August 2017

Kids say the funniest things: 16 hilarious quotes from children

Kids say the funniest things: 16 hilarious quotes from children

Here are 16 hilarious things children say:

One

Two

Three

Four

Five

Six

Seven

Eight

Nine

Ten

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Fourteen

Fifteen

Sixteen

How to Introduce Your Child to Healthy Food

How to Introduce Your Child to Healthy Food

Plan your Menu

Prepare Lunches and Snacks

Does Your Life Have You In Shackles? It's Time To Break Free *