If you've just had your braces removed and been handed a clear plastic Essix retainer, congratulations on reaching this stage. Also, I'm sorry. Because if you're anything like me, you're about to discover a whole new set of things to dislike about life with orthodontic appliances.

I wore train track braces for 28 months as an adult - I have three teeth that simply never developed, no adult teeth ever formed in the gum, which meant my treatment was long and complicated. When the braces finally came off I was handed an Essix retainer to wear full time. Mine had a false tooth built into it to fill one of the gaps while I waited for my permanent bridges. I then had a second tooth extracted, so the retainer was updated to cover two gaps.

I wore it full time for months and I feel fully qualified to share my honest thoughts.  I kept a diary at the time and wrote down 12 reasons why I hate the Essix retainer, which I'll share with you below! If you're searching "I hate my retainer" at midnight wondering if anyone else feels this way - yes. All of us. Here's why.

1. The bad breath is real

The Essix retainer creates a sealed space over your teeth where saliva collects and sits all day rather than flowing naturally through the mouth. The result is genuinely unpleasant breath no matter how obsessively you brush - and I'm brushing four times a day and using mouthwash. It still stinks. This is probably the thing I hate most about it.

2. You can't eat with it in

The retainer has to come out for every meal and snack. For most people this is just an inconvenience. For me, with two congenitally missing teeth and gaps at the front, removing the retainer means revealing those gaps to whoever I'm eating with. I've been avoiding social situations involving food because of this. Going out for a meal with friends has become something I keep putting off. That's not a small thing.

3. Mornings are the worst

A whole night of the retainer sitting in your mouth collecting bacteria and saliva. When you first wake up and before you've brushed, it is genuinely grim. The smell, the taste, the feeling of it - all at their worst first thing. The moment you take it out to brush is a brief but deeply unpleasant sensory experience. Every single morning.

My Essix retainers, the first for my top teeth had one false tooth, the next had two, after I had a peg tooth removed, after my braces were taken off and in preparation for bridges to complete my cosmetic dentistry work.

4. It's covered in spit

I have always had a thing about saliva - I can't stand it. I use a fork rather than a spoon where possible to avoid the trailing saliva situation. Ask Ben. So wearing something that is essentially a spit collector pressed against my teeth all day is its own particular kind of torment. You can see it close up because the retainer is clear. When you take it out there are strings of saliva. It is disgusting and I cannot stress this enough!

5. You spit when you talk

The retainer changes the way your tongue sits in your mouth, which means saliva builds up faster than usual and talking - especially talking a lot, or drinking water while talking - results in an amount of spitting that I find mortifying. Apologies to everyone I've spoken to over the past few months.

6. The lisp

When I first had it fitted I could barely form words. It has improved significantly, but there are still certain words and sounds that come out wrong, and Ben regularly mishears me. Whether that's the retainer or something else entirely I couldn't say!

This is my first top Essix retainer while I still had the bottom brace on, and I still had a peg tooth tat was eventually removed, then another false tooth added in the retainer.

7. You can't snack

In theory you can - you just take the retainer out, have your snack, brush your teeth, clean the retainer and put it back in. In practice this is so much faff that you just don't bother. There is an argument that this is good for your waistline. I choose not to look on the bright side.

8. You have to brush your teeth constantly

After every meal and drink other than water, you need to brush before putting the retainer back in. I have become the person who carries a toothbrush everywhere. On the occasions I haven't been able to brush before putting it back in - because I've been out and there's no bathroom convenient - putting a dirty retainer back in my mouth has made me genuinely heave. It smells, it tastes, it is not an experience I'd wish on anyone.

9. It breaks easily

It's plastic. Thin plastic. Mine started splitting at the front after only two months of full time wear. I've been careful with it - more careful than I am with most things - and it's already showing signs of giving up. They cost around £100 to replace and apparently only last about six months. That's £200 a year minimum just to keep your teeth in position.

You can see it close up, but not from far away.

10. You can't bite your teeth together properly

This was already the case with the braces due to the biting blocks, so in that sense it's nothing new - but it's still frustrating that after all this time I still can't bring my teeth together naturally. No biting nails, no biting thread, no biting anything that you'd normally just bite. Which turns out to be more things than you'd expect.

11. It's hard to kiss anyone

Wearing what is essentially a clear mouthguard, while conscious of the breath situation and the spit situation and the missing teeth situation, is not exactly conducive to romance. I'll leave it there.

12. You can't lick spoons or knives

I had absolutely no idea how often I did this until I couldn't do it anymore. Making the children's packed lunches, cooking, baking - the automatic lick of the knife or the spoon or the spatula. Gone. Off limits. A surprisingly significant loss.

Tips for living with an Essix retainer

Despite everything above, the Essix is still more wearable than the Hawley retainer in my experience - I've written a full Hawley retainer vs Essix retainer comparison if you're weighing up both.

A few things that genuinely help:

Cleaning: Use a soft toothbrush and cold water to clean the retainer - never hot water as it can warp the plastic. Retainer cleaning tablets dissolved in cold water work well for a deeper clean and help with the smell. Clean it every time you brush your teeth.

False tooth care: If your Essix has a false tooth built in, be gentle around that area when cleaning as the composite material can be fragile. Ask your orthodontist about the best approach for your specific retainer.

The smell: Soaking in a diluted mouthwash solution for a few minutes after cleaning can help reduce the bad breath issue, though it doesn't eliminate it entirely. Staying well hydrated helps too - dry mouth makes everything worse.

Eating out: If you have missing teeth and removing the retainer in public is a concern, consider carrying a small mirror and keeping the removal and replacement as quick as possible. It gets easier and faster with practice.

It does get better. The full time wearing phase eventually reduces to nights only, and most of these problems become much less significant when you're only wearing it while you sleep. The end is coming.

---

Before you go...

If you're at the stage of getting your braces removed and wondering what comes next, my not so joyous experience of getting braces removed is an honest account of that appointment. And for the full adult braces journey from start to finish, my adult braces progress with photos covers the whole story.